A Miracle

By now you must be wondering what all of these photos have in common. If you guessed #3, you were correct! Two toddlers were not the easiest to coordinate, but I did my best.
I knew something was up when I became superemotional (crying at commercials), was constantly hungry & close to falling asleep while sitting on the couch in the evenings. Suddenly, I became more aware of my breasts as the more-than-usual tingling & heaviness set in. I knew my body temperature was elevated since I kept waking up sweaty & hot for several nights in a row. I was sick with a cold at the end of February, so I had a late ovulation (cycle days 17-19) with a period due on cycle days 29-31. It was the first month my husband & I tried to conceive & with my previous 2 children this process took 3-4 months. In fact, we had tried only ONCE. What were the odds? I took 2 pregnancy tests 2 days apart (I just felt different) which came back negative. On Monday, March 14, the kids & I were visiting my friend who couldn't wait to find out so she made me take a home pregnancy test (even though it expired 2 years ago). It came back faintly positive. Even with an expired pregnancy test, in my heart I knew the test was correct.


It's difficult to describe my mixed emotions. Disbelief, happiness, anxiety, & the main one, "How will I tell my husband?" He was definitely open to having more kids, just not quite so soon. He had dreams of restful nights, at least one of the kids being potty trained, out-of-town family trips, larger savings account, a bigger house, & possibly a less stressful job.
I was the one ready to expand our family. In fact, I've been seeing birthing & newborn dreams for at least 2 months now. I've been taking my prenatal vitamins for several months & bought a few boxes of pregnancy herbal tea from the Earth Mama, Angel Baby online store recently (it had a 50% off sale & I stocked up for future pregnancies sometime far off in the future, or so I thought). I still have a large bag of prolactation herbal tea in my freezer that I've decided to keep "just in case" (I bought it when Sophia was born from www.lowmilksupply.com). The funniest thing even happened last week. I got an email from a person in HR asking me to confirm my maternity leave dates. I promptly emailed her back stating I wasn't pregnant & she confused me with someone else. Little did I know... :-)
I already haven't slept for 2 days thinking about the possibility of being pregnant, so I told my husband the news as soon as I got home from my friend's house. I just couldn't handle another night of keeping the secret all to myself. His first response was, "No way!", then, "There is still a possibility of miscarriage," & finally "We can handle it! Why don't you make it worthwhile & have twins!"
A few minutes later he called to share the news with his Mom. She was asleep & my husband had to repeat himself about 3 times before she finally understood. "The more, the merrier!" was her response. My Mom was also thrilled, & we had a conversation about her immigrating here sooner than later. If there is any hope of me breastfeeding my new baby, I will need a live-in helper to take care of my other kids for at least first 6 weeks (until the milk supply is fully established). We told Gerritt, "There is a baby in Mommy's belly." "Can I have some milk, Mommy?" was his response (at 3.5 years old, he may need a few more months to process these news).
Wow!!! I am still coming to terms with my new pregnancy. I am thrilled & happy, but have my share of down moments. But I am fully convinced it was meant to be as God doesn't make mistakes. I find the whole process of human conception nothing short of miraculous. What a glorious gift! Having children is rarely convenient, & there is no perfect time to have one. Having another child 1 or 2 or 3 years from now will not make it less stressful.
I have so many dreams & hopes for this birth! I have been reading & researching the natural birth blogosphere (see my favorite blog list) & have learned quite a bit since my last 2 births.

Here is my plan in a nutshell (assuming I will have a healthy pregnancy, the baby will turn head down before delivery, I won't be having twins, my platelet count won't be too low, etc.):

1) I will have a home water VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean) with a midwife & doula.
2) I will arrange for photos & video to celebrate the wonder & miracle of my next child's birth.
3) I will not find out the baby's sex until his or her birth day.
4) I will not have any diagnostic tests (such as routine ultrasounds) unless absolutely necessary.
5) If this baby happens to be a boy, he will not be circumcised.
6) I will breastfeed for at least 1 year (Yep, I will carry a breast pump with me everywhere I go). I will learn as much as I can about breastfeeding & have a lactation consultation prior to & after baby's birth.
7) I will encapsulate my placenta & use it to manage my post-partum blues.
8) I will form a solid plan for a babymoon to allow myself to heal & bond with my new baby. I will allow other people to take care of me instead of rushing to take care of others before I am fully ready.
9) I will not be anxious to get back to work & stay home for at least 4 months.

My due date is November 23rd. I have less than 9 months to get to my dream birth - everything I didn't get with my first two. And I will not be leaving anything up to chance...