Merry Christmas!

Gerry & Gerritt playing with the set of wooden architectural blocks


Gerritt & Sophia comparing toys. Gerritt has already changed into his new Curious George fleece pajamas.


Sophia with her 1st baby doll!


Gerritt's presents


Do I look like the dog who likes to snuggle?

Well, we had the best Christmas ever! Chris & Gerry arrived during the day on Christmas Eve. We spent most of the day buying last-minute cooking ingredients, planning the Christmas Day menu, playing with the kids, & watching a movie. Shon, Gerry & Sophia stayed home while Chris, Gerritt & I made a run to PCC Natural Market. They have small grocery carts especially made for kids, so Gerritt had a blast pushing one around. Apparently, he was craving strawberries because he ate a half-a-pint box in less than 20 minutes.
We had our traditional table of finger foods in the evening - smoked wild king salmon & whole-wheat crackers, melted brie cheese with sliced organic pears & apples, smoked oysters, raw vegetables (cauliflower, broccoli, carrots & mushrooms) with dill dip, shrimp with shrimp sauce & ham & cream cheese roll ups. Despite our best efforts Gerritt didn't eat anything but the crackers. He can be quite picky at times. He didn't even know what he was missing out since he refused to take even one bite. We've decided to open all of our presents on Christmas Eve after kids have gone to bed & have them open their presents on Christmas morning. Gerritt went to sleep at 8 pm, however, came out of the bedroom at 9:30 pm just as we were finishing up. I guess, we woke him up with our sounds of laughing & crinkeling paper. He looked all confused & started crying. So we asked him if he would like to open 1 present that evening. He was so thrilled to tear off the paper & find a soft red Elmo doll inside. Watching various Sesame Street episodes with Elmo on www.youtube is one of Gerritt's favorite activities, so finding Elmo inside the gift box put a big smile on his face.
The next morning Gerritt proceeded to open the rest of the presents. It was Gerritt's first "real" Christmas (the one he can understand & appreciate), so we all went overboard with the Christmas gifts. The 1st present Gerritt opened was a tow truck from Gerry, so Gerritt immediately started to play with it. 10 minutes later it was time to open another present - a book from Chris, which took all of Gerritt's attention. Poor thing, he kept jumping from one present to another attempting to play with all of them at once - an impossible task! All in all Gerritt received Melissa & Doug Pattern Blocks & Boards I bought at the Lakeshore Learning Store; Melissa & Doug Architectural Unit Blocks (from Chris & Gerry); a huge yellow Tonka Toughest Mighty Dump Truck (from uncle Ananth); a wooden puzzle spelling GERRITT (from Chris & Gerry); Fisher Price Little People Builders Build 'n Drive Fire Truck (from Taj & Gabe); Curious George fleece pajama set , which Gerritt insisted on wearing right away & for the next 3 days (from Chris); a sock monkey that Chris has had since the 1970s; & 2 Christmas books (the Elf on the Shelf from the Olshavsky family & That's Not My Santa from Chris).
Then it was Sophia's turn to open presents & by that point Gerritt was an expert at opening them & had a lot of fun helping his little sister. Sophia received a handmade wool hat (distributed by the Fair Trade organization Ande's Gifts); pink Faux Fur vest from the Old Navy (from Mommy & Daddy); a wooden puzzle spelling SOPHIA (from Chris & Gerry), soft yellow organic cotton bear (from Taj & Gabe) & her very first beautiful French-made Corolle doll (from Chris). Chris even took the time to call the company & inquire whether the doll was made out of BPA- & PCV-containing plastic (which it was not). I can't believe I haven't heard of the Corolle dolls until now! They are non-toxic, soft, vanilla-scented, & machine-washable (gentle cycle). Of course, such a beautiful doll comes with multiple accessories - high chair, crib, a mealtime set, clothes, stroller, infant carrier, sling, bed, you name it. Many more gift ideas for Sophia for years to come! I think my husband & I had more fun with the kids' presents this year since we couldn't stop playing with their toys. :-)
We have been shopping for our own presents throughout the month so Mommy received a new set of Dr. Mercola non-toxic cookware. After reading about the dangers of Teflon-coated pots I've decided to get rid of them all together. I've also received a set of beautiful amethyst earrings (handmade by local Seattle artist Kristin Ford); Seven for All Mankind designer jeans; a Coach purse (my husband & I actually bought it together at an outlet mall); socks, cashmere sweater, body lotion, new pajama set (from Chris & Gerry) as well as Harry & David fruit, nut & chocolate tower (from Judy & Jerry) & beautiful Christmas ornaments (from Katie & Ed). Dadddy bought himself an electronic weather station (it predicts weather for the next 3 days) as well as upgraded our family's dish washer, dryer & washing machine. He also received the Barbecue Bible book & a set of grilling tools (from Chris & Gerry). Our poodle Spike received a set of Greenie chewing bones & a Snuggie sweater.
For dinner we roasted a leg of lamb. It was served with baked sweet potatoes & steamed green beans. I baked a cherry pie for dessert. Sophia sat next to our table during dinner & looked so sad. I gave her some of the melt-in-your mouth rice crackers, but they didn't satisfy her. So, I pureed some lamb & sweet potatoes for her. Boy, was it a hit! Our girl gobbled it up & even had TWO extra helpings.
It was a wonderful Christmas. The biggest blessing of all is our young family!

Christmas Eve

Our beautiful table


The happy couple


Boys of the family watching football game on TV


Girls of the family posing for camera


Presents under the tree ready to be opened tomorrow

Why blog?

Sophia posing for Mommy under the Christmas tree


Gerritt hanging the latest art project from his daycare


Gerritt, do "happy"!


Goofy baby!


On that day Gerritt insisted on going to his toddler class with his toothbrush

I have been blogging for over 2 years now & look forward to it every single time. This blog is my on-line journal that I hope to reread years later when those little details start to fade. Also, I want to leave a written account of our day-to-day living to my children. I write to inspire, to make them laugh, to show them how much they are loved, to teach certain lessons & to help them understand & remember their parents better. Compared to a paper diary, an on-line journal will never get lost or damaged. This is one of my gifts to them.
I've recently ran across an article appropriately titled The Power of Journaling. So why do people journal? Well, journaling is therapeutic. It can be a rewarding way of gaining clarity as well as charting your progress as a woman, wife & mother. Also, reading what you've previously written allows you to identify what needs to be changed. There will come a point where your journal becomes your legacy. Someone generations later could become interested in your words, thoughts & emotions. Your journal is who you are in print, so it's important to speak from your heart & soul.

Sophia is 7 Months Old! Alternatives to Traditional 1st Baby Foods. Just Say "No" to Spanking.

Gerritt riding the Merry-Go-Round at the mall


Decorating the Christmas tree with Mommy




Sophia as a pink butterfly! Gerritt had a monkey outfit, however, wasn't in the mood to dress up that day.



On December 14th Sophia turned 7 months old. Again I am happy those first months are behind us. I am NOT a fan of the newborn stage at all. Sophia has quite a personality. Having an older brother around definitely has its advantages. It seems that she is catching on to things faster. She understands a lot, just is unable to express herself except through crying. For example, if I am feeding breakfast to Gerritt (oatmeal with milk), she looks at both of us with sad eyes & whimpers. She does the same thing if Gerritt is holding a TV remote or a phone & she happened to want it. I usually have to distract her with another object. If Sophia really wants something badly, she screeches loudly (an ear-piercing scream). Gerritt quickly learned not just to take a toy away from her, but to trade it for something else more exciting.
Sophia can sit all by herself now (no pillows) & can roll from her back onto her tummy easily. She then doesn't know what to do, but someone is always around to help her. Sophia loves to smile & laughs & kicks her legs when seeing my face at night & in the morning. She really enjoys watching "Your Baby Can Read" DVD almost daily. Gerritt can already read a few simple words such as car, pig, egg, & cat, so we'll see if Sophia will follow into his footsteps. Sophia doesn't have to be swaddled anymore (she has outgrown her swaddling blankets anyways) & wears her fleece long-sleeved pajamas when sleeping instead.
Sophia has had her 1st cold when she was 6 months old & had another one a month later. They were relatively minor & I didn't have to repeat the difficult experience of all-night humidifier, traumatic saline nasal irrigations, hourly awakenings at night, & having her sleep in semi-reclined position in a stroller (everything I've experienced with baby Gerritt who had a cold almost every month from birth to about age 8-9 months).
When Sophia turned 6 months old, I've started feeding her solid foods such as pureed squash, bananas, baked apples, & brown rice cereal. Many people in the US traditionally feed white rice cereal as their baby's first solid food. After tasting it & finding it completely tasteless & boring, I have introduced my kids to such whole grains as quinoa & buckwheat. At 7 months I've expanded Sophia's menu to include pureed soups that the family was having for dinner (for example, cauliflower/seaweed/potato & split pea) as well as avocados & sweet potatoes. I was worried that I was introducing some foods too early (too many different foods, food groups & spices at once), however, was really encouraged by this recent Baby Center article. The article was based on the original article from Pediatric News. Experts used to recommend holding off on commonly allergenic foods such as eggs, peanuts, fish & shellfish until at least age 1, however, research has not supported that late introduction of these foods prevents food allergies. Also, I've learned that the idea that babies should eat only bland foods is a myth. There is nothing wrong with livening up your baby's food with spices. Apparently, if I am not in the mood to prepare separate "baby" meals, she can eat the same foods I eat, providing that I am eating something healthy. The list of adventurous first foods for babies includes pureed sour cherries, plums, stewed meat, turnips, cauliflower, broccoli, bok choi, kale, brussel sprouts, fish, quinoa, & millet. What a novel concept!
Gerritt & Sophia really get along. There is hardly any sibling rivalry. Sophia just adores Gerritt. When she is awake, she watches his every move & her face lights up every time she sees him. Sometimes when Gerritt cries, she starts to cry in solidarity. Gerritt has accepted the fact that Sophia's needs come first surprisingly well. If I can't be available to him because she wants to be held or fed, he just accepts it & finds something else to do. He doesn't throw tantrums (except on the day when we brought Sophia home from the hospital) or gets angry when I say I can't hold/feed/play with him right at that moment. Maybe it is because Gerritt & Sophia are only 19 months apart? Or maybe it is due to Gerritt's easy-going personality. I keep reading about the "terrible twos," & I am convinced that Gerritt is experiencing a mild version of this developmental stage. Of course, he has the days when he says "no" to everything or throws himself on the floor with loud screaming & kicking, however, they are rare. To deal with the "terrible twos" I make sure Gerritt has regular meals, naps & bedtime; offer him choices ("Would you like to wear red t-shirt or blue one?" for example); try not to sweat the small stuff (it is not OK to cross the street by yourself, but it's just fine to splash water in the kitchen sink or "fold" laundry even if it creates more work for me), & strive for consistency in discipline (the same rule applies every time & no amount of crying will change it).
I was able to define my style of parenting only recently. I follow a cooperative rather than authoritarian style of parenting. I don't say "Do it this way because I said so," but "Let's figure out the best way to solve this problem together." Dolores Curran who wrote book The Traits of Healthy Families found that in healthy families no one family member is dominant & that corporal punishment of children produces long-term negative consequences on character & behavior. More recent research has even demonstrated that spanking reduces child's intelligence. I must admit I've spanked Gerritt twice. Both times were the times when I was sleep-deprived, irritable & needed to gain control of the situation quickly. I just didn't know what else to do. I have since promised myself to never hit my children again no matter what the circumstances are. I will never forget the look of disappointment, hurt & disbelief in Gerritt's eyes. My heart ached for him as I thought to myself, "There must be a better way."
Legendary Peggy O'Mara (Mothering Magazine's publisher, editor & owner) wrote this in her article "Instead of Hitting" (Mothering magazine, November - December 2004) & I agree with this statement wholeheartedly:

"It took me a while to get my sea legs & to realize that the control I achieved by spanking was an illusion. My children would learn to hide their bad behavior from me if I spanked them, but I could never ultimately control them, and they would learn to resent me. The only hope I had of truly "controlling" things - that is, of having my own needs met - was rooted in our relationship. It is ultimately the relationship of love & mutual respect that ensures socialized behavior."

So what are the alternatives to punishment, time-outs & spanking?

1. Point a way to be helpful.
2. Express strong disapproval without attacking character (I really had to work on stopping myself from saying, "Bad boy, Gerritt!").
3. State your expectations.
4. Show your child how to make amends.
5. Take action.
6. Allow your child to experience the consequences of his or her own behavior.
7. Sympathize with the child. Be compassionate but stick to your decision.
8. Give an early warning.
9. Give specific instructions. Tell what to clean up, not just to "clean up."
10. Ask your child if you can help.
11. Ignore some annoying behavior. Don't reinforce negative behavior by giving it too much attention.
12. Do nothing.
13. Tackle one problem at a time. Correct one behavior at a time.
14. Use your sense of humor.
15. Give yourself time to grow & change.
16. Be affectionate.
17. Make sure the children are getting enough sleep.
18. Use the Golden Rule for children. Do unto them as you would like to have done unto you.
19. Convey respect.
20. Overlook differences that don't really matter.
21. Don't do for your children what they can do for themselves.
22. Schedule family time.
23. Use "I" statements.
24. Don't reward inappropriate behavior.
25. Use encouragement & honest praise rather than blanket praise.
26. Stop & think before you act.
27. Don't make a big fuss over spills & accidents.
28. Acknowledge positive behavior.
29. Sometimes just listen & be sympathetic. You can be sympathetic to both sides.
30. Be willing to change your mind.
31. Say "yes" as much as possible.
32. Get support & inspiration as a parent so that you remember you have choices.
33. Continue to think of your child as an emotional equal & figure it out.
34. Just say "no" to spanking.

Yes, spanking is easy. Growing as a parent requires investment & work. Honestly, becoming a Mom made me a better person. The growing part doesn't ever stop & I am looking forward to rereading this year's blog 3-5 years from now to see what progress I've made. :-)

"When a child hits a child, we call it aggression. When a child hits an adult, we call it hostility. When an adult hits an adult, we call it assault. When an adult hits a child, we call it discipline." ~ Haim G. Ginott

Sophia's First Christmas

Sophia & Santa


Gerritt & Sophia


Gerritt's 1st pee in the potty - November 26, 2009



Praising from grandma



Gerritt's 1st "big boy" haircut - November 21, 2009

It has been more than a month since I've written - it is amazing how busy my life is! I am happy to report that Gerritt has made a big progress in the potty training department. It is all just "clicked" over Thanksgiving Day weekend. I've noticed him waking up with a dry diaper for a couple of mornings in the row, so I put him on the potty chair right after getting out of bed. My husband's Mom visited us for Thanksgiving, so she was pleasantly surprised when Gerritt peed in the potty on Thanksgiving morning (the best present ever!). We all cheered & praised him loudly. We also gave him hugs & kisses, & I even took a photo of Gerritt with the potty chair. He was so proud of himself, he walked around with a smile for the rest of the morning. He used the potty AGAIN at lunch, so we were over the moon! For a few days after Thanksgiving Gerritt used the potty in the mornings, however, refused to do it in the afternoons by yelling, "No, no, no, no!" As eager as I was to potty train him, I had to take a step back since I didn't want to turn the potty training into a power struggle. My husband forced Gerritt to sit on a potty chair once & it was a disaster. Gerritt fought & resisted & ended up peeing on the carpet because he was so upset. Again, my goal was to keep the potty training process pleasant & happy, so we've decided that no force would be used ever again. Now Gerritt uses the potty every morning upon waking up & sometimes 1-2 more times during the day (depending on his mood). He uses it every 2 hours at his Russian daycare since there are other potty-trained children there & everyone sits on the potty at the same time. We've dealt with diapers for more than 2 years now (plus 7 months & counting of having 2 kids in diapers), so it is nice to see some light at the end of the tunnel. :-)
On the day after Thanksgiving we bought a Christmas tree. This is the first time I cared about getting a Christmas tree so early in season. We didn't get one last year since Gerritt just started to walk a couple of weeks before Christmas so he was into everything. However, what a difference one year makes! This year Gerritt knew what Christmas tree, Santa, toys, & presents were (thanks to reading our It Was the Night Before Christmas book so often). This is his first Christmas where he understands & appreciates the holiday's traditions. We were planning to get him only one Christmas present, however, couldn't help ourselves & bought more. He has 4 presents waiting to be opened under the tree & more presents are coming from Chris & Gerry who will be spending Christmas with us.
I had so much fun decorating the Christmas tree with Gerritt! He is old enough to understand to be gentle with the tree ornaments & even put a few on the tree all by himself. Within a week he knew all of the ornaments' names including mittens, snowman, Santa, star, bell, angel, pinecone, heart, & reindeer among others. We have a few special ornaments including the white glass heart embellished with Swarovski crystals given to us as a present for our wedding & as well as the pink one given to us for our 1st Valentine's Day as a married couple by our dear friend Judy Lawson. Gerritt has attempted to open Christmas presents a couple of times, however, put them back after being reminded to wait until Christmas. He knows what presents are, however, I am not sure whether he knows there are fun toys inside, otherwise, I don't think he would have been so patient.
Last week I went to the Alderwood Mall in Lynnwood with Sophia for her first Santa photo (our annual tradition). There were Santas in Bellevue, however, none of them offered a photo CD for purchase. Since photos fade over time, I chose to take a longer drive to Lynnwood to create another precious memory for our family. We were the first ones in line & even managed to capture Sophia's smile. I skipped the Santa photo with Gerritt this year since he refused to come anywhere near him. I have the last year's Santa photo with crying Gerritt, so I chose not to repeat this experience. Hopefully, next year both Gerritt & Sophia will happily sit on Santa's lap.


It has been over a month & Gerritt is still sleeping in our master bedroom with me. I am so used to it, I can't imagine sleeping separately from him. Gerritt does not demand that I go to bed at the same time as he does like he used to in the beginning of our cosleeping experiment. Now I just tuck him in, kiss him & his dog & bears good night, turn off the lights, close the door - and he is asleep a few minutes later! When he wakes up in the middle of the night, sometimes he touches my face & hair just to make sure I am there. I reassure him, "Mommy is here, honey. Go back to sleep." Gerritt initiated sleeping alone all by himself. One day I was home alone with both of the kids. It was Gerritt's nap time, however, Sophia was crying so I needed to attend to her needs first. It took her about half-an-hour to calm down & fall asleep, & when I came out of her bedroom, Gerritt was already asleep in our bed. He took matters into his own hands, which made me very happy.
Sophia's sleeping habits are still just getting established. The longest she sleeps is 5 hours at a time. It is getting better however. I was elated last week when I put Sophia into her crib with her crib mobile & found her asleep a few minutes later. No rocking or bottle were required. Hopefully, this is the start of her learning how to fall asleep on her own. I am working on putting her to sleep while she is sleepy but still awake, which does not go well when she is really tired. But it works better during the day for naps, so I'll keep on trying. One time we both laid down for a nap, however, Sophia woke up half-an-hour later. I was too sleep deprived to get up right away, so I let her fuss for a while. She talked to herself & then fell asleep all by herself. So getting adequate rest is a hit or a miss for us. Sleep deprivation is the hardest part of the motherhood for me, along with aching shoulders, neck & back since both of the kids are so heavy. I am usually so tired after an outing with Gerritt & Sophia, I count the minutes until my husband gets home from work. It is not the outing itself, but lifting Sophia & Gerritt in & out of their car seats, getting the double stroller ready & later putting it back in the car along with carrying 2 diaper bags. Once we get where we are going I usually carry Sophia and/or chase Gerritt. I didn't realize before I had children how physically fit you have to be to be a Mom.
Speaking of being physically fit, I renewed my 24-hour Fitness gym membership recently. It has been months since I've exercised & I feel an urgent need to get my old shape back. The gym near my house even offers childcare for a reasonable price of $3.50 for 2 hours while I exercise. Even though I bought the membership 2 weeks ago I haven't been back to exercise yet since none of my old workout clothes fits anymore. I need to go shopping again soon! It is hard to believe I used to wear size 4 just 2 years ago (I currently wear size 8). Actually I look great compared to the photos of some women I've seen on the Shape of a Mother - a website showing what real women look like without airbrushing & plastic surgery. I miss my "before-kids" body, but would not trade being a mother for anything!