Still Awaiting My Little Miracle

Here I am 40 weeks & 6 days pregnant & still no baby! I've never expected this pregnancy to last this long. It would be a lie if I said it has been easy emotionally. In fact, it has been an emotional rollercoaster. I've experienced feelings of anticipation, excitement & acceptance, but also disappointment, sadness & even anger. Some days it felt like I've been expecting Christmas, & it never came. I also had anxious thoughts of something being wrong & my body possibly failing me. I started to imagine the worst case scenario of never starting labor on its own & having to go to the hospital for an artificial labor induction with Pitocin. A possibility of having to say goodbye to my dream home birth after all the preparation & having to come this far was really hard to think about.
According to The Center for Unhindered Living, mother's emotional condition can prevent labor from starting. Examples include anxiety over not having everything ready for the birth, wanting to subconsciously hang on to the pregnancy, fear of childbirth experience, dissatisfaction with caregivers/birth place/marital situation, fear of motherhood, or experiencing too much stress. I don't feel like any of the above examples apply to me unless I am subconsciously feeling anxious about not having the birthing pool inflated. :-) I have been nesting for weeks. The house is organized & clean, birthing supplies are in order, & I have a freezer full of delicious meals. On a spiritual note, according to the same website, in order to make sure the baby is born with the necessary personality characteristics to carry out his planned earthy existence, he will often hold up being born until he can be born into the correct astrological sign. Hmmm, interesting idea...
On a positive note, I feel grateful again for having chosen a midwife instead of a conventional OB/GYN for my obstetric healthcare needs. There is no worry about being pressured into labor induction unless I pass 42 weeks AND the ultrasound looks abnormal. I am also grateful for not being the typical Baby Center Mom who gets induced at a drop of a hat because she failed to do her own research & left all decision making up to her doctor. I have faith in my body & trust Jacob to be born when he is ready.

Desenho Artístico by artist Itaiana Battoni (thanks to Mother Health International)

It has been emotionally helpful to adjust my due date. My due date of November 22nd was calculated using the commonly used Naegele's Rule. It turns out a more accurate way to calculate the expected due date is to use the formula by Mittendorf et al.: Multiparas (women who've had children before) start with the date of LMP (last menstrual period), substract 3 months & add 10 days. The Mittendorf et al's calculation changed my due date to December 1st!
A homebirthing Mom, Dr. Nancy of Your Birth Coach, encourages women to be relaxed with their due dates & add 3 weeks to the 40 week due date to decrease feelings of frustration & sadness. As far as safety is concerned, the risk of a stillborn baby is the same at 37 and 43 weeks (!). Giving birth between 37 & 42 weeks is even NORMAL according to ACOG (the American College of Obstetricians & Gynecologists).
So the plan is to relax, take naps, read books, go for nice walks, listen to hypnobirthing CDs, think positive thoughts & enjoy my last few days of relatively carefree time!

The Birthing Dance

Come to me, My Child
Secret longing of my inner heart
Breath of spirit
Wandering the cosmos
Choosing your next lifepath
Seeking sanctuary in my wonb
Visions of you stir my dreams
Your gentle essence drifting inward
Merging into matter
Coming into consciousness
Birthing into being
Your tender wisdom speaks
The ancient knowledge
of a mother's power
Our bodies grow together
Two as one
Turning round, in birthing dance
You lead me
Opening the circle corridor
Descending into unhindered ecstasy
Into my arms

Judie C. McMath

Additional Resources:

1) The Lie of the Estimated Due Date (EDD): Why Your Due Date Is Not What You Think by Misha Safranski

2) When Are you Due? by Dr. Nancy from Your Birth Coach

3) ACOG: Post Dates is Past 42 Weeks by Birth Without Fear

4) ACOG Releases Guidelines on Management of Post-term Pregnancy by M. Neff from the American Family Physician

5) How To Avoid an Induction by Julie-Anne Mauno

6) The End of Pregnancy...Positive Thoughts by Birth Without Fear

7) The Last Days of Pregnancy: A Place of In-Between by Jana Studelska

8) Letting Labor Begin On Its Own by Amanda Schewaga from the Birthing Site

9) Due Dates by Stand and Deliver

10) Labor Induction, Choosing What's Best For You & Your Baby, and The Low Down on Natural Approaches: Part 1 by Aviva Romm, MD

Thanksgiving

It's already Thanksgiving! I was a bit nervous about possibly having the baby today (I would prefer Jacob's birthday not to be forever associated with this holiday), but my mild contractions early this afternoon subsided again by the evening time. Although I would never induce labor for convenience of a health care provider (did you know that induction & C-section rates are higher around major holidays?), I was slightly relieved not having to call my midwife, her students, my doula & placenta encapsulation specialist today.


My husband carving turkey


Turkey treats for dogs

I spent most of the morning talking on the phone with my Mom, Chris & Gerry, our nanny & doula (all of them wanted to be reassured that they were not missing anything exciting). Later on, after putting the turkey in the oven, my husband drove to Tacoma to pick up his Mom. He brought back our 2 dogs (who were dropped off last weekend due to nearing birth) & her 2 dogs, so our house became full of animals again!


Dancing to Lady Gaga


Goofing off with Korean grandma

We spent the day cooking, laughing, dancing & playing. The pumpkin pie & cranberry-orange sauce I froze during my nesting period were a big hit. Korean grandma couldn't get enough of Sophia & Gerritt. It has been a few weeks since she has seen me, so she kept touching & admiring my belly. I kept thinking about this being our last Thanksgiving as a family of 4.


The girls


More fun times with grandma

We have so many things to be thankful for this year. Healthy & happy children, secure & satisfying jobs, a new baby & my Mom's move to the US. I have no idea when Jacob will join us, but hopefully within the next 2 weeks!


Gerritt is not a fan of the flash (I am 40 weeks 2 days pregnant with Jacob)


Grandma loves to dance too!


Sophia takes time to smell the roses


The Santa photo booths have already been set up in several malls near us, however, we will not be visiting Santa for our annual Christmas photo until Jacob arrives!

Additional Resources:

Induction and the Holidays by Cara Terreri from Giving Birth with Confidence

40 Weeks

40 weeks

I can't believe I am near the end of my pregnancy. I am 40 weeks today! Gerritt was born at 39 weeks 3 days & Sophia came at 40 weeks 2 days (after membrane stripping). I would not be terribly upset going over 40 weeks, & I will not be doing any special techniques to induce labor this time. This baby will come when he is ready to be born. The article by Dr. Nancy When Are You Due? is very reassuring about carrying a pregnancy for longer than 40 weeks. Anywhere between 37 & 43 weeks is considered normal. 80% of babies are born within the 2 weeks before or after 40 weeks & only about 5% of babies are born on their "due dates." Another article titled ACOG: Post Dates is Past 42 Weeks by Birth Without Fear is comforting as well.

"Attending births is like growing roses. You have to marvel at the ones that just open up and bloom at the first kiss of the sun but you wouldn't dream of pulling open the petals of the tightly closed buds and forcing them to blossom to your time line." Gloria Lemay

As far as I am concerned, this pregnancy went by too fast. I am excited to meet my baby, but I am also slightly afraid of going through labor again. Giving birth is like a journey into the unknown, having to trust higher power & giving up all control in the process.

"When you have come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly." Patrick Overter

I had mild contractions around 4 am yesterday. I tried to mentally connect with Jacob & keep all my fears away. I knew I needed to conserve my energy for the long day ahead, so I stayed in bed, snuggled up next to Gerritt & ... fell asleep. When I awoke at 7 am, the contractions were gone.


Gerritt examining the table with home birth supplies

Friday was my last day of work at the clinic & I celebrated by going to see the new Twilight movie Breaking Dawn in the evening. I felt useless & lost for the next couple of days (I probably need therapy since I don't know what to do with myself when I don't have to go to work). I stayed busy doing one of my favorite activities - blogging. I prepared most of the outline for posts on placenta encapsulation & cloth diapering. Writing a thorough & informative article on a particular topic takes time & research. I will have so little of that once the baby comes.


Pomegranates - the latest craving

Other than writing, I am spending quality time with Gerritt & Sophia, knowing they will probably not get much one-on-one time with me for the next few weeks. Gerritt discovered a few more of his favorite books:

Dr. Seuss's ABC
Harry and the Bucketful of Dinosaurs by Ian Whybrow & Adrian Reynolds
Room on the Broom by Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler
Clifford's Halloween by Norman Bridwell
Clifford's First Sleepover by Norman Bridwell

I am also obsessed about keeping the house spotless. I could go into labor at any time & I would be embarrassed if my birth assistants saw any mess. It's actually kind of nice to have these few days of nothing to do, it's own "calm before the storm," although having your 3rd baby is nothing like your 1st (it gets easier).


Sophia practicing feeding her baby

Today my nanny Irina & I took Gerritt, Sophia & Anna to play at the Kids' Cove at the Bellevue Square. In the afternoon, while they napped, I went to see Breaking Dawn movie for the 2nd time. Then grocery shopping, a couple of loads of laundry, bill paying, more pregnancy photos... I am feeling unusually unproductive. In the evening, as I was watching my kids playing in the living room, I thought about our plans to have the baby at home & it felt surreal. It has been a long journey & I really hope to have my perfect ending soon. :-)

Helpful Resources:

Affirmations & Visualizations for Birth

We Have a Name!

We have finally settled on a name for our little boy! We couldn't agree on anything for the longest time. Naming our first 2 children was relatively easy. We always knew we would name our firstborn son Gerritt to honor my American father Gerry. Gerritt's middle name Jinwon was meant to honor my husband's father. Then when our daughter came along, we named her Sophia because her name was feminine & sounded so beautiful. Sophia's middle name Christine was chosen after my American mother Chris. We started thinking about names for our second son pretty early on, however, it was harder than we expected. Name Jacob came to us only about a week ago.

Jacob is currently one of the most popular boys' name in the US, & we liked it because it sounded strong & masculine. It is of Hebrew origin, & the meaning of Jacob is "he who supplants," or takes by the heel.
There is a meaningful biblical story that goes along with this name. According to the Bible, Jacob was the son of Isaac & Rebecca & the grandson of Abraham. He was the 2nd born of a set of twins & he came out holding onto his brother's Esau's heel. Later, he talked Esau into trading his firstborn inheritance for a bowl of soup & tricked his father into giving him the blessing reserved for the firstborn.


I am going to pretend that werewolf Jacob Black from one of my favorite book series Twilight didn't influence me at all...

Despite this story of ambitious trickery, Jacob was chosen by God for greatness. Notable moments in his life include reconciling with his brother, dreaming about a stairway between heaven & earth (commonly referred to as "Jacob's Ladder"), wrestling with the angel of God until he received God's blessing, & receiving the new name Israel from God (which means "God prevails"). Jacob was also the father of the 12 sons from whom the 12 tribes of Israel descended (read Genesis 25-35 to learn the story of Jacob).
We are still pondering our son's middle name, but I am so relieved we already chose a purposeful & worthwhile first name!

39 Weeks

39 weeks 2 days

The birth preparations are in full swing. This weekend my husband & I raked the fallen leaves in the front of our house (we have a huge flowering cherry tree, which is beautiful in spring, but requires a lot of clean-up in the fall). I have finished most of the things on my to-do list for the past 4 days (my last break before 3 more days of work).
I organized all my clothes drawers (another pile of things for GoodWill ready to go), vacuumed & dusted my bedroom, put away all of the kids' toys from the living room (we need more space for my birthing tub & birth assistants), put away the kids' summer shoes to clear the house entry way & re-organized my birth supply table.
The candles & the CD player are out & photo camera & video camera are ready to go. I have also cleaned out the refrigerator, ran a self-cleanining oven cycle, washed the cloth diapers (new ones need to be washed prior to first use) & polished all glass surfaces.
I washed windows & floors (on my hands & knees) which was a perfect exercise to prevent occiput posterior baby positioning. I picked up my rental electric breast pump & made Laboraid drink to be put in the freezer. I took Gerritt for his dental cleaning & made fresh hummingbird food. I made a list of my favorite foods to eat during labor (per request of my birth assistants) & To-Do list when labor starts & posted both on the refrigerator. I feel like this baby will not come unless the house is absolutely perfect!
Although all of the above activities were deeply satisfying, the most fun activity was shopping for the kids' presents. I have created them out of the 1$ items at Target & Old Navy to be given after the baby's birth as something sweet from their new brother. I have definitely put way more preparation effort into this birth than ever before (know better, do better, right?).
I had another appointment with Charlene this week & gained 3 more pounds. So much for being smaller than average earlier in the pregnancy. I've gained weight the most quickly during the last 2 weeks. I was right not to go back for those recommended repeat ultrasounds. My short cervix didn't stop me from making it past 39 weeks already. I have been wearing my Supple Cups faithfully for at least 4 hours every day for the past 2 weeks, & I am starting to see some improvement in the shape of my nipples. I have also been listening to the hypnobirthing CD at bedtime. Gerritt actually fell in love with the soothing voice of the hypnobirthing lady, so he has been requesting to listen to it with me.
I've finally received some good news about my Mom. It looks like our long & time-consuming paperwork journey will soon come to an end. The INS has scheduled the immigration interview for her on December 22nd, so she'll probably be here by Christmas! Along with the medical exam, this is the last step in the permanent immigration process. We couldn't have asked for a better Christmas present. Our new son should be about a month old by then. What a blessing for all of us for my Mom not to just come for a few short weeks & then have to tearfully say goodbye, but live next to us & her beloved grandchildren on a more permanent basis. I would have loved to have her here for the baby's birth, but since she is not going to make it, the next best thing will be the birth video we are planning to record. I can't believe I will meet my baby in just a few days!

Solutions for Flat and Inverted Nipples

This week I met with my lactation consultant & received a set of the Supple Cups to try. This is something to be really excited about since I have flat nipples. I've had considerable difficulty breastfeeding both of my children. It was a lack of confidence & belief that I could do it with my firstborn son (an unplanned C-section will do that to you). It was lack of adequate support & education with my second-born daughter.
I've tried it all... I used the Medela contact nipple shields, Medela SoftShells for inverted nipples, the SNS (supplemental nursing system - where you pump breastmilk, then slowly feed it to your baby via a thin tube while he is at the breast), & even exclusive pumping for almost 4 months. The last one was hard since I had to pump at least every 3 hours during the day & go no longer than 5 hours at night in addition to bottle-feeding my baby. It felt like a full-time job.
Not being able to breastfeed contributed significantly to my post-partum blues making me feel like a total failure as a mother. I dreamed about being able to breastfeed naturally while snuggling & having skin-to-skin with my baby; not having to wake up during the night in order to attach myself to a cold machine & pump with the lights on; not having to drag the pump with me everywhere I went & arrange my life around the pumping schedule in order to maintain my milk supply; not having to pack premade formula with me while running errands with baby, & being able to just roll over in bed & breastfeed my baby at night without fully waking up.


That's why I jumped on a chance to try the relatively new on the market Supple Cups. The Cups are made of soft silicone & help by stretching the nipples using gentle vacuum. The use instructions state applying a small amount of lanolin onto both nipples & inside the Cups, centering the Cups onto the nipples & then squeezing the bottoms of the Cups while gently pressing them onto the nipples.
The Cups can be worn for 4-8 hours per day (but only 1-2 hours on the 1st day) starting in the 37th week of pregnancy (if a woman is not at risk for preterm labor). They can also be used post-partum. It's helpful to wear them for 2-5 minutes to draw out nipples before attempting to latch baby (especially during engorgement when nipples are flattened).


As someone who has tried the Philips Avent Niplettes (see photo above), I have a clear preference for the Supple Cups. First of all, the Cups are soft & flexible compared to rigid Niplettes which painfully dig into the breast tissue. Second, the Cups come in 3 different sizes & are able to accomodate nipples of various sizes compared to the Niplette's one-size-fits-all approach. Also the Cups stay on more easily since they don't have any plastic extensions (which can painfully stretch the nipples when accidently bumped). I can't really sit still for 4 hours so the Cups allow me greater mobility (I wouldn't go running, but I am able to do housework, for example).


I have also tried the Medela SoftShells for Inverted Nipples (see photo above) & had to stop after about 3 days due to itchy rash around my areolas. The Shells are supposed to be worn for several hours at a time, but don't allow much air circulation. They are also bulky & fall off relatively easily (it's not fun finding out that halfway through your shell-wearing session that the shell has moved & has been applying pressure to the wrong part of the breast).
The Cups give me hope for successful breastfeeding this time, & I feel truly inspired!

Additional Resources:

1) Breastfeeding With Flat or Inverted Nipples by Becky Flora, BSed, IBCLC

2) Flat or Inverted Nipples by Anne Smith, IBCLC

3) Flat or Inverted Nipples by Barbara Wilson-Clay, BSEd, IBCLC

4) Do I Have Flat or Inverted Nipples?

Hypnobirthing

As I mentioned in several of my other posts, I used hypnobirthing to manage labor pain during natural childbirth with my two children. I don't remember how I discovered it, just that I was sceptical at first, however, the results spoke for themselves.
What is hypnobirthing? It is a childbirth preparation method that focuses on deep relaxation, visualization & self-hypnosis. The purpose of hypnobirthing is to keep a laboring woman feeling peaceful & relaxed while decreasing her fear & increasing the flow of endorphins (the "feel good" hormones). Rather than exhausting, shallow breathing & the distraction techniques taught in a typical childbirth preparation course, hypnobirthing emphasizes deep abdominal breathing & total relaxation, allowing the woman to achieve a shorter & more comfortable labor.
Hypnobirthing mothers are not unconscious during self-hyphosis, but rather deeply relaxed & focused similar to loosing self for a few minutes while staring into a fire place or daydreaming.
Although hyphobirthing doesn't promise painless birthing, many women report labor that they were able to manage easily. When the cause of pain - fear - is eliminated, birthing mothers produce more endorphins (natural pain relievers) & thus avoid the excruciating pain that is often spoken of by laboring women choosing other methods of birth preparation.
I personally can attest to that as I experienced only mild discomfort while being nearly fully dilated with both of my kids. Because of hypnobirthing the only truly painful part of giving birth for me was the head crowning (which is, thankfully, relatively short). I now can't imagine any other way to prepare for birth!

Resources:

1) HypnoBirthing - The Mongan Method

2) Hypnobabies

3) The Leclaire Hypnobirthing Method

4) HypBirth (the program I've been using)

5) Positive Birth - hypnobirthing online course

38 Weeks

38 weeks 1 day

My belly has grown even more & almost overnight, it seems. I have gained 3 pounds since last week's appointment with Charlene. The baby must have dropped somewhat since I walk like a duck & have to urinate every couple of hours. Thankfully, my sleep has improved & I don't wake up at 3 or 4 am anymore. It's hard to believe I only have a couple of weeks of good sleep left. Both Gerritt & Sophia were up at least twice a night for the 1st year, so my chances for getting more sleep with this baby are slim.
I have started to get more swelling in my legs, but other than that I still feel great. I can't do brisk walks anymore so my dogs have to pull me for most of the way. My back pain is almost gone thanks to regular chiropractic adjustments. Weekly massage sessions & having a nanny 5 days a week help to keep me relaxed & sane. It's now harder to find clothes that fits so I am down to a pair of pants & a few tops.
I had another visit with Barbara, the lactation consultant at the Birth & Beyond store, today & received Supple Cups to help draw out my flat nipples. There is always a possibility of breast stimulation bringing on labor, so it's a perfect time for me to try them. This product is so new that Barbara really wanted my feedback on whether they would work for me.


Me, "You need to try a different angle. I look huge!" My husband, "Honey, but you are!"

I have recently organized my breastfeeding supply drawer. What do I have in there?

- Medela Tender Care Lanolin nipple cream (soothing relief for sore nipples)
- Nursing bras/tops
- BPA-free electric breast pump personal use kit
- Cotton nursing pads
- Medela Tender Care Hydrogel (to soothe sore nipples)
- Medela SoftShells for sore nipples (protects nipples from further irritation)
- MilkBands nursing bracelet (keeps track of which side you nursed from, what time & for how long)
- Earth Mama Angel Baby Booby Tubes (natural, gel-free, microwavable & freezable breast packs in organic cotton to help ease breast engorgement)
- BPA-free breastmilk storage bags (for milk freezing)
- Medela contact nipple shields (for flat/inverted nipples or latch-on difficulties)
I absolutely can't fail breastfeeding now!

Additional Resources:

What Breastfeeding Supplies Do I Need? (by KellyMom)


Gerritt insisted on being in most of my pregnancy photos

Good news! My Mom's immigration paperwork went through without a glitch (I received a confirmation email from the INS only 5 days after mailing all of the application documents last week). My many hours of reading, translating & document editing have paid off. Nothing was missing except MY original (or notarized copy) marriage certificate. I mailed it the next day using the overnight mail. My Mom should be getting an immigration visa within a few weeks. Whether I am ready to deal with her on a full-time basis is another story, but for now I desperately need help with a new baby.


The head dress I made for Sophia from the leaves found during my walk today


The autumn princess


Gerritt kisses Sophia during dance (he has been wearing his new favorite Spiderman pajamas for several days in a row)


Too dizzy to do any more dancing

We are still debating when to set up the birthing tub. We inflated it this past weekend just to make sure it worked. The kids decided it was an iflatable playground & spent much time climbing & jumping in it. The tub then had to be put away for it to have a chance to serve its true purpose. I am thinking we'll probably put it back up a week before my due date. My husband researched & ordered a lead-free gardening hose online in order to be able to feel the tub quickly when needed.
I am starting to get a little anxious about the upcoming birth. I am wondering whether I'll be able to handle natural labor & whether the baby is healthy. I also hope the presence of so many people during birth will not hinder my labor progress (my midwife + 2 students, my doula + 1 assistant, my husband, Sophia, Gerritt & our nanny). I will probably not care who is around me once I am in the midst of active labor, however, the fear of performance anxiety is always there. I am also afraid of having another occiput posterior baby & having a long, painful back labor & even possible hospital transfer. The fact is birth is unpredictable, & I will have to cross that bridge when I get there. I trust my body & know that my chances for another successful VBAC are greater at home than in the hospital. Less than 2 weeks to go!

"If you want to feel sad, live in the past. If you want to feel anxious, live in the future. If you want to feel peaceful, live in the now." - Author unknown

Why I Chose a Home Birth

I haven't always wanted a home birth. My firstborn son was born by an unexpected C-section despite my thorough preparation for a natural birth. When I got pregnant with my daughter, I wasn't sure whether my attempted VBAC would be a success. The thought of having a home VBAC didn't even cross my mind then.
Sophia's birth turned out to be perfect & healing. I delivered her quickly, easily & without complications, & that's when I started to trust my body again.
By the time I watched the Business of Being Born & found the blog of Gina, the Feminist Breeder, who was planning her first home VBAC, I knew I wanted my next birth to take place at home.
I also read about Danelle's home water birth (see Peaceful Parenting blog) & watched Rixa's home water birth on video (see Stand & Deliver blog). Both of these women are highly educated (in fact, they both have PhDs) & made an informed decision to deliver their babies at home. Most recently I watched online home birth video of chiropractor Dr. Nancy Salgueiro from Your Birth Coach. The deal was sealed.


In my mind there wasn't even a choice between hospital & home birth. After I learned about the kind of birth a woman could have, hospital birth was simply not an option anymore. By the time I did my research, I knew that home birth was the best choice for me & that experience would by far outshine anything I could expect (or settle for) in the hospital setting. I wanted to give myself & my next child that gift. Although it was important to have a healthy baby in my arms, my birthing experience had to matter too.
After talking to my husband (who was reluctant in the beginning) I set the wheels in motion by finding my midwife through the Mothering magazine online community (It's difficult to find a provider willing to do a home VBAC). Gradually, everything else slowly fell into place.
As I now have about 2 weeks left before my official due date, I wanted to write down the reasons I chose a home birth for my 3rd child. They've been floating in my head for many months now just waiting to be expressed.

1) I view birth as a natural & perfectly normal process, not a medical event or illness that needs lots of monitoring & interventions in order to proceed safely. While "medical model"/conventionally trained OB providers are indispensable in emergencies, few of them have ever witnessed an intervention-free home birth. Having experienced my share of hospital protocols (both as a nurse & a patient), I decided that the safest place for me to birth was my home. I trust my body & want to avoid an environment that looks for pathology at every turn.

The knowledge of how to give birth without outside interventions lies deep within each woman. Successful childbirth depends on an acceptance of the process. ~ Anonymous

2) Although I had relatively good pain control with my last two labors & one natural delivery (thanks to hypnobirthing), I truly believe I can be much more comfortable in the security of my home & through birthing in water. In a hospital environment women often produce the stress hormone adrenaline in response to their conscious or subconscious fear. As a result, the release of the hormone oxytocin is inhibited causing the labor to slow down, which usually leads to a cascade of potentially harmful medical interventions.

3) In my own home, I am in charge while everyone else is a guest. I would not need to ask permission to eat, get a drink, use a restroom, change positions, wear clothes or be naked, dim the lights or turn on music. If I feel strong & powerful, my labor will be more likely to progress as expected.

The parallels between making love and giving birth are clear, not only in terms of passion and love, but also because we need essentially the same conditions for both experiences: privacy and safety. ~ Sarah Buckley

4) I love the idea of not having to travel anywhere in the middle of the night (that bumpy car ride when you are almost fully dilated is pretty uncomfortable). It's so convenient to have people come to my house instead (no one needs to go pick up grandma from Tacoma or wake up the kids). I can also labor on my own for a while without waking up my husband (once he finds out I am in labor, he usually can't sleep & his anxiety can interfere with my concentration). Thanks to careful planning & preparation, everything I may need is at home.


5) I will be assisted through labor & delivery by highly-trained & competent providers I chose & with whom I have established therapeutic & caring relationships (there will be no strangers in the room), facilitating smoother & less stressful delivery through their support & continuity of care.

6) The chances of my birth plan wishes being respected are far greater at home than in the hospital. Being at home I am less likely to be coerced & make decisions out of fear, intimidation or desire to please someone else (something I often struggle with).

7) Multiple studies have confirmed that home birth was safe. The American College of OB/GYNs doesn't support planned home births (even for low risk women), & their position is that the only safe place to have a baby is at the hospital with access to the latest technology. However, this access hasn't brought us better healthcare outcomes. The US ranks only 43rd (!) out of 196 countries in the infant survival rate, according to the United Nations. So the smartest thing to do is to "get the hell out of the hospital" (an actual quote from the Business of Being Born documentary).

8) By staying at home I eliminate my chances of getting a hospital-acquired infection (such as drug-resistant bacteria).

9) My kids can be a part of this birth, or at least see the baby just minutes after he is born. This is something Gerritt (who is 4 years old) may remember for the rest of his life. I can even pet my dogs while in labor (even though I'll probably have my husband take them to grandma's house a week before my due date to eliminate constant barking at birth assistants coming in & out). I am thinking peace & serenity here...

10) After the birth, my baby will not be taken away from me for such routine hospital procedures as eye ointment application, vitamin K shot & first bath. My kids, husband & I can all climb into a family bed for emotional bonding & cuddling.

11) My placenta will not become a biohazard waste. Instead, it will be lovingly preserved as part of the placenta encapsulation process.

12) I can take as many photos as I like & also videotape my birth without having to ask for special permission.

Although I have a few anxieties as I approach my due date (it's my first home birth after all), it would be a shame not to even try.

Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength. ~ Barbara Katz Rothman

Additional Resources:

1) 161 Reasons to Birth at Home!!! by Informed Parenting

Nourishing Postpartum Meals

I have been nesting big time & my strong urge to cook & freeze meals became part of it. I quickly ran out of space in our refrigerator freezer, which prompted my husband to buy an extra mini-freezer for our garage. :-) I still remember the complete exhaustion from taking care of a newborn during those first few weeks & having to resort to fast & junk food because you simply have no energy or brain power to come up with anything else. I wanted to avoid the same situation this time so I have been scouting for good recipes, grocery shopping, cooking & freezing for the past week.

Main courses:

1) Stuffed bell peppers
There are many recipes on the internet. Here is one variation . I substituted the white rice with brown rice & textured vegetable protein with organic ground beef. I also replaced mozzarella cheese with Monterey Jack cheese for sharper flavor.


2) Sweet Potato & Lentil Soup
I love this curried version. I substituted the lentil with organic Sprouted Bean Trio (mung beans, green lentils, adzuki beans) by truRoots (which I found at Costco).


3) Oxtail Soup
It's one of my favorite soups to make during fall & winter. There are many recipes, but mine is closer to this one.


4) Split Pea Soup
I substituted the ham bone in this recipe with sauteed bacon.


5) Baked Macaroni & Cheese
It's not the most nutritious, but nice to have when craving comfort foods after delivery (see recipe here).

Desserts:

Since reaching the 3rd trimester I've been having strong craving for cranberries (that's what you get having your baby around Thanksgiving!), so 2 dessert recipes contain them.


1) Pear Cranberry Crisp
I doubled the cranberries & lemon juice & added 1/2 cups of sugar in this recipe.

2) Apple Quinoa Muffins
See recipe here


3) Walnut Pumpkin Pie
I've added fresh ground ginger & 1/2 cup of ground flax seed to this recipe.

Other foods I chose to have readily available in the freezer:

- Cooked brown rice
- A couple of whole raw chickens (to make simple, but nutritious Lan Lan's Chicken Soup)
- Shelton's turkey sausage patties (can be found at our local PCC)
- Baked Cranberry-Orange Sauce (Thanksgiving is not that far away, see recipe here)
- Ice cream

Today was my last of cooking & I am exhausted. The mini-freezer is more than half-way full. I will not be touching the stove for a while. :-)

Additional Resources:

Once a Month Mom - fill your freezer by creating monthly menus using seasonal recipes

37 Weeks

37 weeks 2 days

I've made it to 37 weeks already. My blogger pregnancy count-down states I have only 17 days to go. How did I get here so fast? I had another midwife appointment yesterday. I haven't gained any weight for the past 2 weeks (I am still at 162 lbs). I've started my pregnancy weighing 133 lbs, so I am gaining weight appropriately. Hopefully, this means this baby will be less than 8 lbs. I actually think my belly looks relatively small being this far into the pregnancy (I was able to shave my legs this morning :-)).


Yesterday I put all of the birth supplies out on the table in the living room. I was originally thinking of giving birth in my husband's bedroom since its sliding door opened right into the back yard (easier to drain the birth tub), but decided to settle in the living room instead. The bedroom may be a bit crowded with our midwife, 2 students, my doula, her apprentice & my husband. Plus, if my labor starts in the middle of the night, I can come out of my bedroom & labor quietly for a few hours without waking up my husband & children. Now I have to come up with some way to cover the living room window (we currently don't have curtains).


"Sophia, where is baby?" "There!"

I've prepared a few CDs this week. It is meditation-type music to be played during labor:

1) Reiki - Hands of Light by Deuter

2) Inner Peace by Steven Halpern

3) Gifts of the Angels by Steven Halpern

4) Ocean Suite by Steven Halpern (I thought the sound of the ocean waves was very appropriate for a water birth)

I am surprised how good I feel. I've been feeling intermittent pressure & small electric shock-like sensations in my cervix for several weeks now. According to my favorite home birth book Birth Your Way, this means baby's head is in a good position. My walking is a bit wabbly & slow, otherwise I am able to keep up with my daily activities for the most part. That's probably why I am still in denial about the proximity of this baby's birth. I am so used to being uncomfortable that continuing this pregnancy for a few more months would not be so bad. :-) My midwife mentioned using primrose oil (oral & vaginal) to make sure the baby was not overdue, but I brushed off the idea. Being pregnant for 41 weeks or longer doesn't phase me, at least not yet. The baby will come when he is ready & I would never be selfish enough to interfere with the nature's process purely for my own comforts.
Gerritt & I have been getting ready for baby's birth by reading a couple of birth-related kids' books:

1) Welcome with Love by Jenni Overend (This is an excellent book from Australia portraying a home birth. There are several startling but beautiful images of the baby's head emerging from between Mom's standing legs, the baby boy with his umbilical cord reaching up & the naked mother on her knees cradling the baby in her arms. The baby's siblings get to witness the birth & end up cosleeping with the new baby & their parents at the end).

2) Waiting For Baby by Harriet Ziefert (A good book about preschooler Max impatiently awaiting the arrival of his little brother. Sadly, he misses the birth as his Mom has the baby in the hospital while he stays with his grandparents).

My Mom's photos have finally arrived & I mailed the 2nd part of her immigration paperwork last Monday. My hope is that she will arrive to the US by mid-December or sooner (my nanny really wants to move to Portland to be with her boyfriend by Christmas). I even have a Christmas stocking for my Mom with her name on it.


Daddy enjoys Gerritt & Sophia's kisses


Pure happiness

Good news! The length of my requested maternity leave was approved, so I have until February 1st off from my hospital job & until March 21st off from the clinic. Whether I will take my full requested leave is another matter (I always get restless after 4-5 weeks of staying at home), but I want that option nonetheless. I have no idea how I will feel once this baby comes. I've already learned from having 2 children how fleeting the time is & I may want to absorb & enjoy every moment of my newborn's cuteness.