Another long month is behind us! It is always surprising to me how slow, monotonous & overwhelmingly difficult those first few weeks after the baby's birth are. I was so sure it's going to be different with Jacob (after all, I've experienced this stage twice before), but little has changed. It's still hard work.
Shortly after my Mom's arrival from Russia, Jacob developed colicky episodes in the evenings. He was a perfect baby during the day (sleeping contently between brief awakenings) & would then turn into a loud, fussy & hard-to-please baby after 10 pm. We learned to dread evenings because Jacob would cry for 1-2 hours on most days of the week between the hours of 10 pm & 12 am. It was so heartbreaking to see his red face & not know how to help. Once his crying even sent me to the store at midnight almost in my pajamas for some gas-relieving Mylicon drops & Gripe water. Feeding, pacifying, singing, rocking, swaddling & diaper changing didn't help. The only way Jacob would stay somewhat quiet was being carried upright while leaning on one of my Mom's shoulders.
Thankfully, Jacob was eating mostly breastmilk so formula intolerance/allergy causing his digestive symptoms was immediately ruled out. In hindsight, Jacob's discomfort was probably due to the foremilk-hindmilk imbalance (I initially pumped only for 10" per session, which resulted in my breast milk consisting of mostly low-fat foremilk). Since I focused most of my energy on exclusive pumping & maintaining my milk supply, my Mom completely took over Jacob's care. After recovering from her jet lag, she insisted he sleep in her bedroom night after night. She created a schedule for him, complete with popular in Russia daily "air baths" & massage. Lucky Jacob got his own private duty baby nurse! The early newborn stage is my least favorite part of child raring, so I gladly gave up the night duty. I was still sleep deprived because I set an alarm for my pumping sessions, but it wasn't even close to the level of fatigue I would experience while pumping AND taking care of a newborn.
Shortly after I passed my 6-week post-partum mark, I went back to my per diem hospital RN job. As a per diem RN, I am the first to get cancelled in case of overstaffing, so for the first couple of weeks I only worked once a week. It was refreshing to get out of the house & comforting to receive some income since my short-term disability insurance checks have stopped coming after 4 weeks of my "qualified disability." Of course, there was no way I would go back to work so soon if I couldn't maintain my pumping commitment (along with home birth, breastfeeding for at least 6 months was a really important goal for me from the beginning). Lucky for Jacob & I, my hospital had a special room with a sink & a refrigerator dedicated to nursing mothers for pumping & milk storage (thanks to tireless work by my coworker & breastfeeding advocate Kracinda!). With her advice, my manager & I worked out for me to take three 20" pumping breaks rather than the typical 15, 30 & 15" ones.
This month Jacob got his first cold. Gerritt, Sophia & I were all sick & despite my diligent handwashing Jacob still caught it from us. I spent many sleepless nights caring for baby Gerritt who had a cold almost every month since he was 2 months old, so I was not looking forward to doing it again. But, thanks to the healing properties of breastmilk, Jacob's cold was very mild & lasted less than 2 days.
As tiny as he is, Jacob already loves to smile! His toothless grin & squinty eyes make all the hard work worthwhile. Every time I look into Jacob's precious face I think how blessed I am.
