The first few days after birth were rough. I realized a couple of hours after my labor how much adrenaline was involved. I expected to be fatigued. Surprisingly, my upper arms & shoulders were sore (I remember having similar soreness after riding a scary, adrenaline-fueled carnival ride), probably from holding on to the squatting bar too tightly. My perineum was sore & swollen. My stitches were burning, especially with urination. I applied ice to perineum constantly. That along with round-the-clock Ibuprofen & Percocet relieved my pain enough to move around. According to Sally, I had more than usual perineal bruising & swelling. It was almost impossible to sit for the first couple of days. I even ate while kneeling on the floor. Eating while standing was another option but I was too dizzy to stand for long. My estimated blood loss was about 400 cc, but I was surprised how dizzy I felt. I could not urinate right after delivery (probably to due to massive swelling in my perineum), so the nurse had to use an in-and-out catheter to drain my bladder. That was the last resort since none of the less invasive methods to induce urination worked: smelling peppermint essential oil, running water, taking a sitz bath, & sitting on the toilet while relaxing perineum as much as possible. The nurse drained only 400 cc of urine from my bladder even though I drank so much fluid & received 1 liter of Lactated Ringers during labor. I didn't think I was that dehydrated. This was probably due to pbysiological fluid shifting. Thankfully, I was able to urinate on my own a few hours later. The Tucks pads & peri-bottle became my best friends for the next 4 weeks. A friend recommended I apply the Earth Mama Bottom Balm to my stitches, & I found this product to be a lifesaver. I was also very thirsty & hungry for the first couple of days after birth.
I've attempted to breastfeed Sophia but latching was difficult due to my flat nipples. So I began to pump the colostrum using an electric breast pump. Sophia was fed using a combination of a nipple shield & SNS (supplemental nursing system - a tube connected to a syringe filled with formula/colostrum). I spent most of my initial postpartum time snuggling in bed with her, however, made myself walk around the room & in hallways that same evening. Sophia slept most of the time, & we got good sleep that night. Sally saw me the next morning & wrote orders for discharge home. However, we did not leave until around 4 pm due to Sophia needing a metabolic blood screen as well as a hearing test & me needing post-partum teaching & a lactation consultation.
We arrived home in the evening of May 15th. I rushed to find & hold Gerritt. Poor thing, he looked so confused & sad. He was overwhelmed with our sudden attention after not seeing us for more than a day. He pointed to Sophia & proclaimed, "Baby!" Later that evening he lost it when he saw me giving Sophia a bottle. He looked at me feeding her & threw himself on the floor crying. He must have thought that bottle-feeding is a special thing I do exclusively with him. My husband had to take over Sophia's feeding while I held & kissed Gerritt. My husband's Mom watched Sophia that night while we got some sleep. After that night we were on our own.
The next month was about survival. The hardest part was not taking care of a newborn, but carving out time to give Gerritt enough attention. I read somewhere that he loses the most with the arrival of a new sibling, so we were determined to make this transition easier for him. We've kept Gerritt in his daycare for 3 days a week just to give him some sense of a routine & normalcy. On days Gerritt was home with us, my husband took him outside to one of the parks. Gerritt & I still had our special time every morning with bottle-feeding while watching cartoons, & I continued to put him to bed every night with lullaby-singing & holding. I was also giving him his bath once every couple of days.
I have tried breastfeeding Sophia for about a week & found it to be difficult. Initially, I breastfed using a nipple shield. It kept coming off or leaking milk, so on our 3rd day home from the hospital I just decided to get rid of it completely. I put Sophia directly to my breast & she seemed to breastfeed well. It was so satisfying to hear her swallow milk. Sometimes she would even choke because too much milk was released too quickly (I couldn't believe it!). Just like Gerritt she kept falling asleep after about 15-20 minutes of sucking being all snuggled & warm. So I was pumping after feeding her to empty my breasts completely. I was on Vicodin for about 5 days after arrival from the hospital. When my Vicodin ran out, I realized that I had blisters on both of my nipples & a bleeding crack on my left one. Apparently, Vicodin was numbing my nipples enough for me not to realize Sophia's had a poor latch. Breastfeeding became intolerable with me crying in pain every time Sophia latched on, & I've decided to pump for a few days to heal the nipples. Of course, Sophia got nipple confusion & when I tried to breastfeed her several days later, she gagged & spit the nipple out. That is how I came to exclusive pumping, again. I pumped for about another 3 weeks & decided to switch to formula-feeding full-time. I kept getting plugged ducts on both of my breasts, which were so painful, I could not have anyone touching me. Hugging Gerritt & my husband or sleeping on my side were out of the question. The breast pump is definitely less effective in removing milk from the breast compared to a baby. I also had to pump every 2-3 hours, which meant I was pretty much tied to the house. It's amazing how fast those 3 hours would go by & it was time to pump again. The longest I could go without pumping at night was about 5 hours, & I would often wake up with red, swollen, hard & tender breasts. I thought maybe I didn't produce enough milk in the beginning so I took galactorrheic herbs I bought on the Low Milk Supply website (it was highly recommended to me by a lactation consultant at the hospital). I drank tea made of organic chamomile, alfalfa, blessed thistle, fennel seed powder & fenugreek seed powder several times a day. My breasts definitely produced more milk as a result, however, more suffering has followed due to my inefficient breast pump.
It is my one unfulfilled dream - to be able to breastfeed. In hindsight, I should have consulted a lactation consultant right away. I had one come to our house when Gerritt was born, however, it was about $150 for a 2-hour consultation. I wanted to save money, however, I ended up spending way more on formula in the long run. Plus, if you think of difficult-to-calculate hidden costs to your & your child's health, it is so worth it. Another thing I should have arranged is to have my Mom come over & stay with me for at least 6 weeks until breastfeeding was well established. Newborns want to breastfeed often, sometimes every hour, so it was very difficult to solely focus on that while trying to cook meals, clean the house, get reasonable amount of rest & entertain a toddler. My husband was off work by the time Sophia was born, however, he didn't fully understand the importance of breastfeeding, so, unfortunately, wasn't as supportive as he could have been. He was annoyed at how time-consuming breastfeeding was & that I had no energy for anything else. "Gerritt was bottle-fed & he turned out fine!" I was fatigued, in pain, & suffering from post-partum mood swings, & several negative messages were just enough for me to give up breastfeeding all together. It is definitely like a full-time job with overtime hours. The first few weeks of breastfeeding are the hardest. I could have also rented a hospital-grade breat pump to relieve breast engorgement & pain. I've learned from both of my kids' births & next time I will make sure I have good support systems in place. The most important thing I've learned is that I CAN breastfeed (I had so little faith & no confidence in my body's abilities after Gerritt's birth). I am determined to succeed next time, whenever that would be... :-)
I had some "baby blues" for about 3 weeks. My emotions were raw & little things could upset me greatly. I remember my husband & I going out for lunch at the Microsoft Commons. He stepped out for a few minutes to buy some food & I could hardly hold back tears while waiting for him to come back. I started bawling upon his return. Why? I didn't know, just felt like crying my eyes out. I felt overwhelmed, like my whole world was turned upside down, which, of course, it was, silly me. The mood swings are difficult & my least favorite part of the post-partum recovery.
Overall, I found the recovery time from a vaginal birth to be significantly shorter & easier compared to a C-section. I was up doing laundry, cooking, cleaning & playing with Gerritt immediately after returning home from the hospital. I definitely overdid it & my feet became edematous for several days afterwords. The worst side effect of prolonged standing were increased pain & swelling in my perineum. The longer I was up on my feet, the more perineal burning & pain I felt. In hindsight, I should have had my Mom around or hired a post-partum doula to do all of the housework for at least a week after birth. My husband was home, but he was busy tying loose ends at work & entertaining Gerritt. He is not a fan of cleaning & the mess drove me nuts. I wish I had someone designated just to care for me. Doesn't everyone? This is one of the drawbacks of having kids so close together. I remember barely being able to sit because of the pain, however, I had to put Gerritt to sleep starting on my first night back from the hospital because he would not go to sleep with anyone else. Just to review, at bedtime I give Gerritt his bottle of formula, then sit & hold him in my arms while singing him lullabies & stroking his head until he gets sleepy enough to be lowered into his crib. Still, I was grateful I wasn't pregnant anymore because doing this with a big belly in front was even more difficult.
This time my husband & I got out of the house a lot sooner. We took Gerritt to different community parks, went out for lunch (with Gerritt in daycare), shopping & even to a party about a week after Sophia's birth. I was pleasantly surprised how much more I could do after this birth. Of course, I had to sit down frequently & walk slowly, but it was still an accomplishment. I had to stay on Ibuprofen (800 mg 3x/day) for almost 4 weeks. Probably not good for my stomach & kidneys, but I had so much to do. I tried getting more Vicodin from my midwife when I ran out, but received a firm "no." She said if I was still having that much pain after a normal vaginal delivery then I was probably doing too much. She recommended I rest more or return to her office for an exam if I felt something else was wrong. Easy for her to say! It's impossible to get much rest when raising a toddler. Still, caring for Gerritt post-partum was way easier than caring for him being 8 or 9 months pregnant. As much as I enjoy being pregnant, it felt wonderful not to carry so much weight around anymore.
As strange as it sounds, I also went through a short period of mourning that the pregnancy was over. It was so wonderful to carry Sophia with such a feeling of anticipation. The whole time I felt like I was participating in creation of a miracle. The unborn baby gradually became such a big & important part of my life. My husband & I actually talked about having another baby while still in the hospital. My birthing experience was so powerful, euphoric & life-altering, it made me sad to think I might never experience anything like that again.
