Well, Sophia is almost 2.5-months old & I can proudly say life is back to normal for us. Those first few weeks after baby's birth are sure rough & I am glad they are behind us. Of course, you get used to be being tired most of the time, but we were prepared for that. I found this article on managing "new Mom" fatigue really helpful.
I went back to work part-time (2-3 days a week) a little over 1 month after Sophia's birth (as a nurse at the Evergreen Hospital Medical Center & as a Nurse Practitioner at Planned Parenthood). Some people may say it is too soon & there is no reason to do it unless you are strapped for cash. I must say extra money is nice but it was not the main deciding factor for us. I wanted to return to work for my own self-esteem. Somehow, being back to work allows me to feel normal again. I really value my independence & it is important to me to have something of my own, something I am good at in an outside world, besides being a wife & a mother. I am a better wife & mother because I work, no doubt about that.
My husband stayed home with me for 2 months after Sophia's birth thanks to wonderful & generous paternity leave policy at Microsoft. My loving & hard-working husband watched Sophia most of the nights (I took care of her only a handful of times), so I got a full-night's sleep on most days. We had a team effort going on: I did the last feeding before bedtime & got all of the bottles ready, then he would get up 2-3 (or more) times during the night with me taking over around 7 or 8 am while my husband slept in until 10:30 or 11 am. It was tough taking care of 2 kids every morning (just imagine feeding Sophia, waking up Gerritt, getting him dressed & fed, taking my own shower & finding something to eat, changing multiple diapers, entertaining both of them while trying to keep the house quiet enough for my husband to sleep), but it was better than waking up at night. I need my sleep & if I don't get at least 6 hours of sleep per night I turn into a witch. I really believe it was adequate sleep in those first post-partum weeks that allowed me to bounce back so quickly. The only parts of my body that still hurt are my pubic bone & the repaired vaginal tear site. I was really concerned about the latter one (can you imagine feeling pain every time you have sex for the rest of your life?), but then read in my wonderful Pregnancy, Childbirth, & the Newborn: The Complete Guide (written by our local authors I must note) that it may take several months (up to a full year) for an episiotomy or a repaired vaginal tear to heal. What a relief!
I am not a fan of a newborn stage, however, Sophia started to smile at about 6 weeks of age & I forgot about all of the hard work. On July 13th Sophia had her 2-month check up with my husband's family doctor - Dr. John Yam. Yes, I have found a board-certified, holistic, acupuncture- & homeopathy-trained, alternative-vaccination-schedule-approving pediatrician for Gerritt. However, her clinic is located in Shoreline, which meant about a 45-minute drive for us. Dr. Yam, by comparison, is a traditional Western-minded MD who is board-certified in family medicine, however, he is only 3 minutes from our house. And when I thought about it, I realized that the only reason I went for check-ups was to get immunizations. Gerritt is almost 2 & did not use any of the wonderful modalities offered at the Kids Clinic even once. Of couse, when I got to Dr. Yam's office, he refused to follow Dr. Sears' alternative vaccination schedule stating it was not the official recommendation of the American Medical Association & if I wanted to do this schedule I could find a different provider. So we've made a compromise: Sophia gets only 2 shots at a time, which means I would have to bring her in almost every month. We've designed a schedule together which would allow her to be up-to-date on all of the recommended immunizations while they were spaced out. Of couse, I could find a different pediatrician, but Dr. Yam's immunization schedule made sense; I had less free time now compared to when I only had Gerritt (those 3 vaccines in 1 shot are sure nice); I remembered reading that girls were less susceptible to autism than boys (so it is less critical to space out the shots); & I wished to minimize the number of traumatic for Sophia clinic visits. She weighed 13 lbs 8 oz (95th percentile) & was 22 7/8" long (75th percentile). I pretty much dismissed the doctor's talk about starting to train Sophia to sleep through the night by letting her cry it out. It is still unfathomable to me how a respected physician could give an advice that went against my parent intuition & mothering instinct. Can you imagine a mother bear ignoring the hungry cries of her cubs or a dog turning away from her yelping pups? Sigh...
My husband went back to work on July 14th (exactly 2 months after Sophia's birth). We were both excited & ready for our life to get back to a new normal. As much as I enjoyed all of the extra help from him, it was difficult to be in each other's face every day for 2 straight months. We both need our alone time. Chris arrived on the same day & stayed for 3 days to help out during this transition. Two of us & Sophia were so busy mostly running my errands (I had another crown placed & a breast ultrasound). We've decided to increase Gerritt's daycare schedule from 3 to 5 days per week. Since my husband went back to work & I was the one taking care of Sophia at night, I needed to sleep in the mornings (instead of being up at 7 am with Gerritt) & to be able to nap during the day when Sophia was sleeping. Poor thing! He didn't like it at all & became more needy & clingy. He would refuse to get dressed & put on his shoes in the mornings & cry every time he had to leave the house and be dropped off at the Russian daycare. I can still see him hugging my legs or holding on to my neck tightly & crying, "Mommy, mommy..." I gave Gerritt extra attention in the evenings by snuggling, playing, reading a book or taking a bath together. I also put him to sleep every night by rocking, singing & stroking his hair, but it still wasn't enough. Gerritt just loves Mommy too much & I am obviously irreplaceable.
On July 22nd we had our 6-month post-operative follow-up appointment with pediatric urologist, Beth Andersen. Just like I suspected, she recommended to repeat both procedures: prepuce release (correction of the penile adhesions after improperly healed circumcision) & right orhiopexy (to descend the right testicle from inguinal canal into the scrotum). She did not have a clear answer on why the surgery performed in January was not successful. She speculated that the dissolvable stitch she applied to attach the outer layer of the testicle to the scrotum dissolved too quickly & the testicle traveled up the inguinal canal again & got "trapped" there by the scar tissue. Of course, I felt disappointed & angry, but I did not want to waste my time being mad about things I could not change. There are risks with every surgery & not a single surgery gives you 100% guarantee. Dr. Andersen is a competent surgeon who has performed hundreds of these surgeries. Unfortunately, sometimes surgery outcome is not optimal even when the procedure is done by an experienced & skilled surgeon. Of course, I was also concerned about exposing Gerritt to general anesthesia once again in the light of recent research about the effects of anesthesia on the developing brain. The animal studies have shown that anesthesia affects the neurocognitive development. However, as concerned as I was I really didn't want to postpone Gerritt surgery any longer. It is recommended to complete orchiopexy at the earliest possible age to allow proper testicular growth & development. So I've scheduled another surgery for Gerritt for the first available slot - August 20th at Children's Hospital. We've had a wonderful experience at Swedish in January, but to go back there would have meant waiting another month. I wanted to get Gerritt's surgery done in August since my Mom would be here visiting & could take care of Sophia while my husband & I were at the hospital & assisted with Gerritt's post-operative recovery. Only 6 more days until my Mom arrives from Russia!
