The first month

Gerritt is going to be 1 month old in 1 day! And we've managed to keep him alive! People say to enjoy every moment since children grow up so fast, however, the past month seemed really long to us. Maybe it is due to the fact that our lives were turned upside down since the birth of our little bundle of joy. We knew having children would not be easy, but we were still shocked by the overwhelming responsibilities & demands of early parenthood. Now I know pregnancy was the easy part... We have never been so tired & sleep-deprived before. Also it was hard to adjust from having active social & professional lives to staying home all day & realizing that every day would be the same: change diaper, feed, burp, play a little, put baby to sleep, then repeat every 2.5-3 hours! :-) Add the fact that newborns don't interact very much and you have a severe case of boredom on your hands. My husband would find me in a rocking chair with a dazed blank look on my face at least once a day & say, "Sweetie, you look really bored... Poor thing!" Some days it is noon time & you realize you haven't showered yet & you are starving because you forgot to eat breakfast. The good news is that it gets better over time. As you get to know your baby & recover from childbirth, you find joy in little things - the way Gerritt smiles when sleeping, the way he draws his hands to his face every time he eats, all the different facial expressions he makes, the way he yawns, the long stretches he does when unwrapped for a diaper change, & even the "golden shower" (the joys of having a boy!).
The first month was spent getting to know Gerritt & adjusting our parenting style. I was set on practicing the attachment style of parenting, however, found I couldn't follow all of its aspects. Gerritt slept in bed with me for the first 2.5 weeks & the quality of my sleep was poor. I was awakening every hour due to all the little noises he made & to make sure his face was not accidently covered with a blanket. I also couldn't turn in bed freely. Things have improved tremendously with Gerritt sleeping in his crib & me sleeping in bed next to him. I am still open to the idea of co-sleeping, however, with an older child. Also I couldn't carry Gerritt in a sling all day due to pain in my abdominal incision, so that had to be replaced with lots of holding & rocking. One thing I was able to practice was to respond to Gerritt's cries right away. I am not a believer in letting a baby cry it out to soothe himself. We are also feeding Gerritt on demand & not on a schedule.
We had a few sleepless nights & even thought Gerritt was colicky for a while. We've tried such anti-gas/anti-colick remedies as Mylicon drops & Gripe water. Then we found out we were underfeeding him (2 oz. of breast milk or formula that satisfied him as a newborn were not enough at 3 weeks of age) & that he was a bit cold. Gerritt kept waking up frequently & crying & it took Shon's Mom taking care of him for one night to figure things out. He started sleeping for 3-3.5-hour stretches as soon as the room's temperature was increased to 71-72 degrees & he was wrapped in two (instead of one) blankets. We've also had a couple of nerve-wrackig days when Gerritt did not have a bowel movement for 2 days. We were frantic with worry & called the Ballard Pediatrics office & the Nurse Consulting phone line (free service provided to Microsoft employees). We've learned Gerritt's pattern was normal since he was receiving both formula & breastmilk. Becoming a parent sure involves a steep learning curve!
When Gerritt was 2 weeks old we had our first outing. We all went to the grocery store, Costco & then Tully's for some coffee. I just remember everything around me feeling surreal. I couldn't believe I was sitting in a chair by the fireplace drinking tea - a resemblance of my old life! We were able to stay at Tully's for only 20 minutes since Gerritt started crying & everyone was looking at us, however, that little outing gave us hope that life would some day be normal again. :-) Also around that time I spend some time running errands by myself. Driving for the first time after surgery was an experience & I got tired fairly quickly. Still it was good for my spirit to get out of the house.
The first month was filled with Gerritt's pediatric appointments, my follow-ups with the surgeon who did my C-section (Dr. White) as well as my midwife, a trip to the lab for a repeat PKU test for Gerritt, visits from our doula and multiple friends. We learned how much work it is to get out of the house on time when you have a little one. It has been wonderful to experience the support of our friends & family. It really does take a village to raise a child. My husband's Mom has been a lifesaver! It is great to have her come & take care of Gerritt once a week while we have a few hours to ourselves. Thanks to her we were able to go out as a couple a few times & take naps. Now we have a newfound respect for all of the parents out there including our own. I vowed to never criticize anyone's parenting style again.
Physically, it took me about 3 weeks to feel somewhat like my old self again. My C-section scar still aches once in a while & a few areas around it continue to stay numb. It is quite unpleasant to brush against it accidently & not have previous level of sensation. Some days I feel like one giant breast. I am pumping milk about every 3 hours. A couple of times I got a bad case of a plugged milk duct (when one of the ducts gets clogged, does not drain & gets inflamed). I think those were the times I was so tired I didn't hear the alarm & slept for 5-6 hours straight instead of waking up & pumping. Thanks to hot packs, increased frequency of pumping, Ibuprofen & rest, the plugged ducts didn't turn into mastitis. I have joined a New Mom's support group at my church, however, missed the first meeting. It was just too much trying to get out of house by myself with a 2-week-old baby.
We are gradually transitioning to being parents. We are taking it one day at a time. I am counting the days until Gerritt will be able to interact with us more. My husband's paternity leave ends on December 10th. I don't know what I would have done without his help. My love for him has grown since Gerritt's birth. The baby brought out a different side of him - such tenderness & nurturing. My husband who could sleep through everything now wakes up at Gerritt's first cry. We feel really blessed with a healthy pregnancy & baby. We have reconsidered our thought of having 4 children though. :-)