We are having a girl!!!

I am exhausted today since Gerritt didn't sleep well last night. He went to bed at 8 pm without any difficulty, then woke up at 11 pm. I was so tired, I've asked my husband to go in & check on Gerritt. That's when all the hell broke loose. Gerritt started screaming & kicking & whaling. My husband changed his diaper & attempted to feed him while rocking him in a chair. After listening to Gerritt cry in Daddy's arms for 15-20 minutes I couldn't take it anymore. I got up & took over. I calmed Gerritt down, fed him his bottle of milk (he absolutely refused to take it from Daddy) & then rocked him for what it seemed like forever. An hour & a half later he looked sleepy but still awake in my arms. I attempted to put him into his crib thinking he would be too tired to fight, however, he got up immediately, threw his blanket & teddy bear on the floor & started crying "Uppah, uppah! (his code words for wanting to be picked up). He was back in my arms again & I attempted to rock him, however, he wasn't interested. So I laid down on our twin bed with him, however, Gerritt wasn't about to sleep. He played with his stuffed animals & his blanket, talked to himself, crawled all over me, etc. Another hour has passed (it is now 1:30 am). By that time I was exhausted, frustrated that nothing was working, & about to cry myself. I put Gerritt into his crib & walked out. I really wanted to avoid the cry-it-out session, but I was at my wit's end. I laid in bed & listened to him cry for about 15 minutes. I couldn't take it any longer since Gerritt was sobbing so hard, he almost vomited. He was calling out for Mommy & saying, "Oh, ooh! Oh, ooh!" (his code words for blanket & teddy bear being on the floor). I went back in & picked him up. He was so tired from crying he wanted another bottle of milk to soothe himself so I've asked my husband to make us one. Gerritt was finally asleep an hour later - at 2:30 am. I was so tired my head was spinning. What a nightmare! Thankfully, this doesn't happen too often. This is our 3rd similar occurrence. Usually it happens when I've been with Gerritt all day. He gets so attached to me that seeing Daddy walk into his room at night instead of Mommy sends him into a frenzy. This morning my husband took Gerritt to his Mom's so I could sleep in & rest a bit since I have to work an evening shift as a nurse tonight (3-11:30 pm).
Yes, I got hired at the Evergreen Medical Center & started on December 15th. I had 1 week of classroom & 6 days of on-the-floor orientation. It will be my 1st shift working on my own tonight. I am still working as a Nurse Practitioner at Planned Parenthood in U-District every Saturday morning (9-1 pm) & picking up extra shifts in other locations as they become available. However, most of my working hours are spent nursing since I make $8-14/hour more working as a nurse (depending on day of the week). I know, strange... It seems it should be the opposite. I may pick up more shifts at Planned Parenthood as my pregnancy progresses since nursing is so physically demanding. I went back to nursing because of job stability (there are always shifts available to pick up; the hospital often calls you at home to come in to work); flexibility (I can work evenings & weekends saving on my childcare costs); higher pay (since I've been a nurse for over 7 years I am almost at the top of my pay scale); the nature of the job (I like doing procedures & finishing small tasks as well as constant movement (I don't do well with a desk job)). Also you are never alone in patient care - there is always someone to consult if you are not sure about something.
Gerritt started walking on December 12th. In the past he would often walk while holding on to furniture or one of us, however, on December 12th he just took off walking. Initially, he would walk kind of wobbly for 6-10 steps in a row & then crash. My husband & I would sit on the opposite ends of the living room & have Gerritt walk towards one of us & fall into our arms. We did a lot of praising & clapping every time he made it to one of us without falling. We could tell Gerritt was so proud of himself since he would laugh every time he was successful. Within 1 week he was more confident, walking for longer & longer distances, even while carrying a toy, blanket or his teddy bear. Yesterday (January 9th), I took Gerritt to walk outside for the 1st time. It happened accidentally. I was about to put Gerritt into the car to go to Goodwill (to get him some new toys) & opened the front door while putting my shoes on. Gerritt stepped outside the door & took off walking. So we walked to my neighbor's house & back. Gerritt was smiling the whole time & even talked to another neighbor's barking dog. It was on a porch outside & Gerritt kept pointing at it & saying "Da! Da!" Now I don't need to carry Gerritt around as much since he follows me everywhere. It is so fun to see him becoming more self-sufficient.
On December 23rd we had our 20-week OB ultrasound & found out we were having a girl. Initially we were both shocked & disappointed, however, as the days went by I became more excited. It took longer for my husband to feel better about it. He was just so set on having another boy. The minute he found out it was a girl he started to stress about her wedding, dating, mood swings & other worries that come with having a teenage daughter (especially if she's pretty). She was healthy on the ultrasound, however, the doctor said my lower uterine segment (the area of the old C-secion scar) was "thin" & the placenta was a bit too close to the old scar area putting me at a higher risk for uterine rupture & hemorrhage during vaginal delivery. Since I have idiopathic thrombocytopenia purpura (or unexplained low platelet count) we discussed ways to increase my platelet count (2 grams of folic acid & 70-80 grams of protein per day). The normal platelet count is 150-400K, however, mine ranges from 98-120 K. If my platelet count happens to be below 100K at the time of delivery & I need another C-section, I will need general anesthesia since epidural or spinal is not an option due to risk of epidural hematoma (which can paralyze me for life). So lots of things to stress about... Just like my midwife Sally said - every time you have an ultrasound the likelihood of them finding something increases. I will have my next follow-up ultrasound on January 15th to see if my placenta has moved. The plan is to try for vaginal-after-Cesarean delivery, but I am not holding my breath. I am not even writing a birth plan since it is difficult to predict how things will progress once I am in labor. If I have another C-section it may be our last child since the risk of complications (infection, blood clot, bladder/bowel adhesions, hemorrhage, etc.) is higher with every subsequent C-section. If we stop at 2 children I am grateful to have both a boy & a girl already. I am not even going to hire a doula this time since my husband has exceeded my expectations during our last delivery. He just took over & doula didn't have a chance to do much. Since I ended up with a C-section she was only there for 10 hours. We could have saved $750. I am feeling well with the exception of occasional sharp ligament pain in pubic & groin area. It is probably caused by lifting & carrying a 25-pound boy so frequently, but I don't have a choice. Gerritt is such a Mama's boy. When he needs me, I can't refuse. We've started to think about names for our girl, however, we have not decided. Some of the names that have come up were Sarah, Alexandra, Sofia, Genevieve, Olivia & Ester. We are just waiting for a name that feels right. I don't worry about the delivery much. There is just no use. I read somewhere that worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair - it will not get you anywhere. I truly believe it's all in God's hands.
We are almost complete with one of our bedroom & bathroom remodels. We were fortunate to find a good contractor who is very organized & diligent in his work. The electrical wiring, plumbing, installation of a new toilet/shower/vanity as well as ceiling dry walling, wall sanding & texturizing are complete. My husband did some of the priming work yesterday. Next step is painting of the walls in the living room & bathroom & installation of closet doors & trim. It will be the nicest room in the house & we look forward to having visitors including Chris & Gerry & our Moms. We got a couple of kitchen remodel estimates so hope to start with that project next. We are on a time line to finish most of the remodeling before the baby comes in May.
On January 7th we had an appointment with a pediatric urologist due to Gerritt's foreskin being so constricted. It just didn't heal right after his circumcision. We've scheduled a circumcision revision surgery on January 27th & I am worried sick about it like any mother would be. The surgery will be about 40 minutes long & he will need a general anesthesia. Even though the anesthesia is pretty safe nowadays, I am most worried about the recovery period. I just don't want Gerritt to feel much pain. Dr. Anderson reassured us that the recovery time is pretty quick (about 3 days) & she'll give us some liquid Vicodin to use as needed. Poor baby! I now wish we would not have circumcised him. Now he needs to have surgery that could have been completely avoided.
Gerritt is growing up fast! Some days after working for 3 days in a row, I take a look at him & he just looks different. He is becoming very handsome (at least I think so). He is also developing empathy which is not really expected at this age. Toddlers are typically very selfish & think their world revolves around them. However, Gerritt loves to share (if he is eating something, he will usually share with our dog Spike & one of us). Also if Spike is whimpering in his kennel because he was locked up for stealing food off the table, etc., Gerritt gets distressed about his cries & pulls on the kennel door asking me to release him. Sometimes if Gerritt hears another baby cry he will cry in solidarity. It is too funny to watch! I believe this comes from our attachment-style parenting. We respond to his words & cries right away (with the exception of a few minutes last night - I feel horrible about it) & comfort him when he needs it. He needs (physical or emotional) never go unmet.
Gerritt sleeps relatively well waking up once to eat at night. Bedtime is most challenging. Lately he's been fighting it. No problems for naps during the day, but bedtime is a different story. I usually feed him with a bottle & then rock him for a few minutes. Once he looks sleepy I put him into his crib. That's when the problems begin. He insists on me holding him until he's fully asleep. He is heavy & tall now so it has been difficult to hold him in my lap for such a long time. If Gerritt is awake when I leave his room, he usually stands up in his crib, throws his pillows, blanket & bear on the floor & yells on top of his lungs until I come back. It's going to be challenging to rock him for 30-40 minutes when the baby comes. I just won't have time or energy. We have about 4 more months to find a solution.
Gerritt says some words already. His common ones are "Uppah, Uppah, Uppah!" (pick me up now!), "Ahm, ahm!" (Russian for "I am hungry!"), "Tshh, tshh!" (he wants to give Spike jerkey or he wants his chips or crackers), "Ba, ba!" ("Bad boy!", usually when we discipline him or Spike), "See, see!" (he wants to sit at the table with us), "Mama!" and "Papa!", "Oh, ooh! (usually when he drops something), & "Bye, bye!". Gerritt is very affectionate. He loves to give hugs & kisses. We usually say, "Can Mama have a kiss?" & he leans forward, opens his mouth wide having saliva dripping & plants a wet one on your mouth or cheek. Kind of gross, but too adorable to refuse! His molars are coming out (I felt a sharp edge on his left lower jaw) & that may be part of the sleeping problem. He is becoming more aware of his body parts attempting to find his belly button (he now knows where mine is). He doesn't go anywhere without his blanket & a stuffed bear (sleeping, eating, changing diaper, car). Gerritt is rarely grumpy (only if he didn't get enough sleep or is in pain) & is a joy to have around. He makes us laugh every day. As tired as I am, it is such a privilege to be his Mom. He is discovering the world around him & I get to be a part of it. Parenting is the hardest & most rewarding job on Earth! I am looking forward to adding another little one to our nest. It is going to be busy few years but I am happy Gerritt is going to have a sibling. Being an only child has many advantages, however, I would give anything to have a sibling.