August 25, 1995 (My first day in the US. Lunch at the Floyd's Place in Seattle, a couple of hours after getting off the airplane)
August 25th marked the 16th anniversary of my arrival to the US. I set my foot on the American soil on August 25th of 1995 & met the people who changed my life, Chris & Gerry Ailts, at Lake Chelan over the Labor Day weekend. No one would have predicted that my temporary 3-month stay at their house would stretch to 5 years, or that I, with my limited English, would go on to graduate from a nursing program & get my Registered Nurse license.
At the Chelan County Fair (during my 1st week in the US)
The Ailts were unique because they didn't have children of their own, they've never participated in hosting an exchange student before and, most importantly, they've never treated me as one. I immediately became a member of their family. They shared their home, lives & hearts with me, not expecting anything in return.
I was a shy, scared & lonely teenager. As an only child, I was sheltered from life & didn't have experience making any kinds of decisions for myself. I couldn't budget money & went through $1000 given to me by my Mom (to be spent over 1 year) in about 1 month. I didn't know what my favorite color was & wore only black for a while (I thought it was classy). I couldn't decide what kinds of foods I liked & once ate a large rare steak just to be polite. I didn't smile much & when I did, I covered my mouth due to my poor dental health.
November 11, 1995 (Visiting San Francisco - my first trip with Chris & Gerry & one of many more to come)
I consider my move to the US to be one of the best things that have ever happened to me. This country became a wonderful place to grow up, to be liberated & to find myself. Mostly because I moved far away from my intensely loving, but very controlling Mom. My first act of rebellion was getting a perm (which I wasn't allowed to do growing up). I went through a period of changing my hair & clothes styles as often as I changed my boyfriends - about every 3 months. I still admire Chris & Gerry's wisdom & courage not to interfere & let me figure things out on my own.
June 8, 2000 (RN program graduation ceremony)
Finding myself & building a life in the US was a gradual process. I studied hard & held a variety of cash-only jobs such as babysitting, gardening, taking care of elderly, painting, & house cleaning. They paid for my out-of-state college tuition, which was quite expensive even though I was studying at a small local junior college. I renounced everything Russian & made it my goal to assimilate into the American society as much as I could (I am just starting to get back to my Russian roots now & becoming a parent was my biggest motivator). I observed, listened & learned. By the end of my 1st year in the US I was able to understand the American jokes & even joke back.
I fell in love with America. It's hard to describe everything I like about my new home, but a few things stand out:
- I like visiting or calling an office & getting a friendly & helpful response to my questions.
- I like seeing friendly faces & getting smiles from complete strangers many places I go.
- I like being able to achieve anything through perseverance & hard work without having the right connections, lots of money, or being a city mayor's daughter.
- I can dress & behave any way I like without worrying about what other people may think or say.
- I have the freedom to pursue chosen by me lifestyle without being considered an outcast or an anarchist (including marrying a man from a different race & having a homebirth).
- I have faith in my future & enjoy relative stability instead of having to constantly worry about tomorrow (I didn't realize I had chronic anxiety until I've lived in the US for a few months).
- I love the melting pot of cultures living together in harmony. I let go of my judgement of people based on their nationality or religion, & I really don't care if someone is from Ukraine, Uzbekistan or a Jew.
- One can get things done relatively quickly without much red tape & bureaucracy.
- I like being able to try clothes on before buying them & return them to the store if I change my mind.
- I loved being able to afford my own condo & a car just 3 years after graduating from college.
- I like having fresh air to breathe instead of suffocating in diesel & second-hand tobacco smoke fumes at every turn.
- I like going to beautiful & well-maintained parks that are completely free & knowing that they will not be trashed.
- I love being able to purchase foods & products required to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
I have gone back to Russia only once since leaving, exactly 10 years later, in August of 2005. My husband & I decided to spend our honeymoon there. It wasn't much of a vacation, & I don't have any desire to go back (unless I really need another reminder of how fortunate I am). Perhaps the children & I will visit Russia some day once they are teenagers & able to fully appreciate the differences between the US & Russian societies.
